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Why You’re “Spectatoring” During Sex—and How to Stop

Why You’re “Spectatoring” During Sex—and How to Stop

DEAR DR. JENN,

Often while having sex, i am too dedicated to my performance and look to enjoy it actually. At the best, my mind simply wanders; at worst, I’m thinking in what my own body appears like rather than just what it feels as though. How do you stop? —Distracted Fan

DEAR DISTRACTED LOVER,

You’re not alone. What you are actually experiencing is really what intercourse practitioners often call spectatoring, a phrase coined by the famous ’60s intercourse scientists referred to as Masters and Johnson. Exactly exactly exactly What it boils down to is being extremely conscious of your self, your lover, or just exactly just how your lover views you during intercourse, also it often shows up as a crucial dialogue that is internal distracting ideas, whenever that which you actually want to be doing is concentrating on your very own along with your partner’s feelings.